Kryptocurrency

Superbman Faces his Greatest Threat!

Walter Bradington, the wealthy investment banker,

places a call to Lois Lake, telling her that his

daughter, Christina, has been kidnapped. The

kidnappers have demanded $5,000,000 for her

release.

It’s common knowledge that Lois Lake knows Superbman personally, and so Walter asks

Lois to contact the Man of Titanium and ask him to rescue their little girl.

The Bradingtons are not planning to call the police.

For one thing, the kidnappers threatened to kill the 12-

year-old girl if they do.

Also, the Megalopolis Police Department is now much

smaller than it used to be

. . . Since the citizens have demanded

that the police be defunded.

It’s no surprise that the people of

Megalopolis depend on Superbman

now more than ever before.

Using his super hearing and x-ray vision, it doesn’t

take long for the Man of Titanium to locate

Christina.

Superbman is just about to break through a wall to

rescue the girl, when he discovers that he cannot.

He uses the door instead. As he enters, Superbman

immediately becomes much weaker.

This can only be one thing - kryptonite!

How could the kidnappers get their hands on the

only thing in the universe that can hurt Superbman?!

The kidnappers have ‘kryptocurrency’ in their pockets.

Coins, minted out of kryptonite, received in payment from

previous kidnappings and other criminal activities.

The kryptocurrency that the kidnappers have on them

temporarily blinds Superbman and keeps him from getting

close!

The kidnappers have also demanded the ransom be paid in kryptocurrency, knowing full

well that it will render Superbman powerless!

It seems the Bradington family has lost their only hope of a

rescue. They have no choice now but to pay the ransom

and hope that the kidnappers keep their word.

Kidnapping is often not very dangerous for the perpetrators. The victim is unarmed and

unaware, and often a child. Until now, the most dangerous part for the kidnapper was

collecting the ransom. By accepting only kryptocurrency, kidnappers can now collect

ransoms with almost no chance of getting caught.

Kryptonite-based currency is a game changer for kidnappers.

Kryptocurrency is completely legal. No one had ever

thought to make it illegal because until recently, kryptonite

did not even exist on earth.

Once it made its debut, kryptocurrency became very

popular and the people of Megalopolis started using it

before lawmakers even figured out what it was.

One might ask how kryptonite even exists here on earth. Doesn’t it come from planet

Krypton?

It turns out that an anonymous genius with

questionable scruples realized that many people

in the world wanted to buy and sell contraband,

contract illegal services, and do pretty much

whatever they want, without the risk of running

into Superbman.

To that end, this anonymous person found a

way to synthesize kryptonite in the laboratory.

Next, they minted coins from the kryptonite, creating the aptly named kryptocurrency, a

new type of money. This new money worked just like existing money, but it did something

more. It took power away from Superbman and gave it to criminals. Superbman

cannot fight crime in the presence of kryptonite, and now criminals have the ability to

commit a wide variety of crimes with impunity. Criminals are finally free from Superbman.

As with stocks, futures, and precious metals, the value of kryptocurrency fluctuates, and

that makes it useful as an investment. Megalopolis already had a multitude of investment

opportunities, many of which are arguably more sound than kryptocurrency. Because it is

money, it may be used like any other money, but Megalopolis already had a multitude of

payment methods.

Kryptocurrency differentiates itself from these other financial tools because it protects those

who commit crime. If kryptocurrency were to disappear, the only people who would miss it

would be those who fear Superbman. Other than keeping Superbman at bay,

kryptocurrency offers absolutely nothing new or unique.

Illegal weapons, suppressors, poisons, and drugs, are

now being freely bought and sold online, thanks to a

combination of IP address concealing technology and

untraceable money.

Several contract killings have even been funded using kryptocurrency. Kryptocurrency

ownership does not make someone a criminal, but merely gives them the power to safely

commit a variety of crimes, should they decide to.

In an unrelated story, a crime wave has overcome Megalopolis. Ransom related crimes

such as cyber-attacks and kidnappings have increased tremendously. Recently, citizens

were unable to buy gasoline for several days because a pipeline was shut down. Criminals

were able to hold the computer system hostage until a ransom was paid in - you guessed it

- kryptocurrency.

This type of attack has become commonplace. The

computers of many Megalopolis businesses and individuals

have been disabled, and many ransoms paid to criminals.

There have even been kidnappings of people and pets, with

demands of payment in kryptocurrency.

By eliminating the intervention of Superbman, Megalopolis has become a safe haven for

outlaws. Unless something is done, the future of Megalopolis looks bleak.

The production of kryptonite also puts planet Earth at risk

because kryptocurrency is continuously being

manufactured, consuming an estimated 150 terawatt-hours

of electricity annually, most of which still comes from fossil

fuels.

If kryptocurrency production was a nation, then it would be

the 27

largest consumer of electricity, consuming more

power than any single one of about 191 nations. This at a

time when virtually every scientist in the world is concerned

about carbon dioxide production and its relation to global

warming. Thus, the people of Megalopolis watch as planet

Earth heats up, the glaciers melt, and the oceans rise.

This is not the creation of food, clothing, shelter, medicine, or consumer goods. Just more

kryptocurrency.

Kryptocurrency Pros:

 useful as currency

 useful as a speculative investment

Kryptocurrency Cons:

 endangers the public

 diminishes productivity

 increases greenhouse gases

I’m sorry to tell you that Christina’s parents paid the ransom and pleaded with the

kidnappers not to harm their little girl, but they executed her anyway. Too bad that this is

not a comic book.

After a period of mourning, the Bradingtons became outspoken activists against

kryptocurrency. It’s a shame that it took something horrible for them to recognize the

danger.

What people say really doesn’t matter to Christina or

the Bradington family, but one could argue that

kryptocurrency should be illegal.

One might also say that because it jeopardizes public

safety in general, everyone who ever invested in

kryptocurrency is partly responsible for what

happened.

You see, in Megalopolis, anyone caught in possession of child pornography gets charged

with a crime, even if they have not directly contributed to the exploitation of any minor. It is

understood that any use of child pornography contributes to the exploitation all of the

victims in general. Some say the same principle applies.

Of course, kryptocurrency is legal while child pornography is not. Walter Bradington points

out that there was a time when slavery was also legal in Megalopolis.

The people who opposed slavery called themselves

abolitionists, while slave owners called themselves by a

name that has long since been forgotten: democratic.

Walter is quick to point out that just because something is

legal doesn’t make it right.

Fortunately for the people of Megalopolis, there is cash, and also credit and debit cards,

PayPal, Zelle, Apple Pay, Google Pay, Stripe, Venmo, Square, Authorize.net, 2Checkout,

Braintree, Clover, PayJunction, Elavon, KIS Payments, Adyen, Payline, Worldpay from FIS

Global, or Cybersource, plus a multitude of other payment methods.

There are also countless ways to invest money in the hopes of earning a profit.